Broken Jaw

I was out having a drink, Dave decided to have a piss down a lane next to some bins.

Unfortunately no one saw a woman sitting in her car near the bins... not that we could anticipate her reaction - she went mental!!!

After beeping her horn and screaming like a banshee, I calmly stated that I think that she was overreacting. She screamed that she had kids in the car to which I responded that she was the one attracting their attention, their car was facing away from the bins and without her going mental no one would even have noticed, never mind cared…

At this point her husband shows up and says ‘right round the corner’ I follow him, thinking that as a guy, he is going to realised how retarded his wife was being but while I was asking him if he had ever pissed outside he started throwing punches. We exchanged a few blows, but he caught me on the jaw and dropped me to my knee, I stood straight back up and he started running away, got into the car and his wife drove off (I don’t know if I hurt him too) but he ran away so I’m claiming victory regardless.

Dave was still pissing through the whole event...

Despite the anesthetising effect of 6 or so pints, I knew it was fucked…
You know what I’m like with shit though, I believe in the ability of the body to heal itself so I left it a couple of days before going to hospital to confirm what I already knew.

They wanted to slice open my face and put in a metal plate – fuck that!!! Beeping at every security checkpoint for the rest of my life…

I have decide to heal au natural but I have to go to the specialist weekly to check that it is healing straight and there is no infection, but without the support of the plate it means soup for at least 8 weeks.

The metal plate could still be a reality though so fingers crossed… BTW it's agony!